Something's amiss

I can't remember the last time I laughed without restraint.

Lost are the memories of satisfaction and life without worry.

My happy thoughts have fled, Wendy and the boys flew off without me.

Guess I'll eat worms.

Nothing sucks like an Oreck vacuum cleaner.

Little green Ben smugly smirks from a distance. He knows it's been a while.

Napoleon and 1.3G hold a special place in my heart.

Sleep evades me nightly, while the bills track me like hounds daily.

I call my ceiling fan "Holmes" because it's cool.

Socrates, Descartes, and Plato are among my closest friends.

Seriously. Orecks really really suck.

TroutDrSpudz is my best friend.

A new fuel has been discovered: Al Gore's tears. Thank goodness he lost the election.

Socrates, Descartes, and Plato are my computers' names.

My shoes have worn themselves thin and my feet ache.

The pen is mightier than the sword. Swords are cooler.

I had a dream, but like all dreams, I woke up and it was soon forgotten.

Nothing says "I love you" like jewelry. Not true.

TroutDrSpudz is my best friend Matt's screenname.

I know these aren't the worst of times, but they're the only times I know.

I love you like jewelry. There. I said it.