Blowing Things Up

First man made fire. Then man made boom. Not too long after man made boom, man put restrictions on who can use boom. The 4th paid no respects to such rules. On Wednesday, I made boom. And it was good. All day I hung out at Meenk's house with the Andersons, the Kennedys, and the Hudgins families (the usual group). The day had a few highlights - one of which being Kyle acting out a near-perfect cherade of the phrase "naked chef." Even better - while everyone else was laughing their heads off, Karen Anderson took a few snapshots on her phone. Yup, when Kyle gets married, those pics will definitely be in the slideshow. After sunset we got to lighting the goods off. Now, there are only three fireworks that I buy in California. Fountains are worthless to me. They do nothing. The only fireworks worth buying are as follows: Picolo Petes, Ground Bloom Flowers, and Crackle Balls. Most famous for the ease of manipulation are the Picolo Petes. A couple whacks at the bottom section with a hammer to a Picolo Pete, and you've got yourself a regular firecracker on steriods. Hammer the bottom then wrap it tight in duct tape, and you have one doubly so. Not too many people know how to abuse Ground Blooms past chucking them into the air. My discovery is really tedious and tricky, but when it works, it's well worth the ten duds before it. Basically, one needs to take two Ground Blooms and tape them (or crazy glue) them together, side by side with theier fuses on opposite ends and sides respectively, with a slight tilt downward. This gives them an improved spin while also generating lift as the slight tilt towards the ground accelerates them upward. Even more difficult than taping them together at the right angle is getting both fuses lit at the exact same time. I've had quite a few work well, floating a few feet in the air. One time, I did something just right and it shot upward reaching about fifty feet in the air before it died out. Most of the time it's a complete failure. Sometimes they'll spin in circles, other times they won't spin at all, just burn out like a flame on a sparkler sitting on the ground. My favorite rig, next to hammering Picolo Petes, is taping Crackle Balls shut. In case you're not familiar with them, Crackle Balls typically come in six-packs for around two bucks. You light the fuse, toss them into the street, and the green plastic ball bursts open and an instance of crackling sparcs explodes for a fraction of a second. Left alone, the area of sparks is fairly contained to where the ball landed. Once taped shut, the ignition inside the ball has to push much harder to get the pieces to come unstuck. Once that amount of pressure is met, the effect is launched from the ball just like an aerial shell, covering a diameter of about ten to fifteen feet instead of a measly two. Of course, the best fireworks are the ones brought in from out of state, but I don't live near the border, so that was out of the question for me. Oh well. It's much easier messing with the stuff that's for sale right down the block anyway. What amazes me further about this 4th of July, was that the more "cracking down" the local police departments try to do on people using illegal fireworks, the more people smuggle them in and light them off. Seriously, California's "Safe and Sane" skies easily matched those of any aerial-legal "Go Ahead, Blow Your Arms Off" state. Honestly, I think the entire issue at stake here is about money. I wonder how much revenue is generated each Independence Day from illegal posession fines. Wow. I'm awake at 3:30 in the morning blogging about fireworks. This is lame. Goodnight.